Tuesday, December 15, 2020

To Swell or Not To Swell...that is the question

Hello! Look at me posting another blog! *Pats self on shoulder* Let's talk about swelling today. *Sigh* 

Not my favorite subject as of late. Last year or so, I was having some major issues with my feet and ankles swelling. I went to my doctor and he checked my heart and kidneys and saw no reason for concern. Determined the swelling was situational because of my weight. At the time, he didn't want to put me on any type of water pill as I was already on one that is included in my blood pressure medicine. It continued to get progressively worse. To be honest, I just dealt with it. I didn't want yet another medication to be on. When I started this weight loss journey in the Spring, I was weighing myself constantly. It was up and down all the time and varied between 5-10lbs. I was making myself crazy, but my feet were continuing to swell causing my frequent change in weight. Over the summer while at a family get together, my family became very concerned about how bad my feet and ankles were swollen. I brushed it off, told them it happened all the time. But deep down, their concerns scared me. So I called my doctor again.The NP checked me out again and really thought it was all still situational. "Some overweight people just swell for no reason." is what she told me. I guess I am some people. I was put on a trial of water pill for 2 weeks from the NP, follow up in 3 weeks as NP wanted to see what 2 weeks of the medicine would do. The 2 weeks I was on the meds, everything was great! Minus peeing 25 times a day. :) But a few days after I stopped my 2 week dose, my feet began to swell again. *Sigh* This time I had to see the doctor as it was clear I needed to be put on the water pill full time. But since Lasik is such a hard pill on your kidneys, I needed to have labs ran 2 weeks later to check my levels. Of course, my potassium levels were too low. Doctor immediately put me on potassium pills. Have you seen these things?!? HORSE PILLS! They are so big. Even cutting them in half, I struggled to swallow them. I hated them. But I took them as instructed every day. On the day of my surgery, the anthesiologist saw I was on potassium and wanted to check my levels before I had surgery. My level was very low. Even lower from when I had my labs done previously after 2 weeks of starting water pill. It was concerning to the anthesiologist, my surgeon, and me that my levels were so low, even with taking potassium every day for the past month. They hesitated actually doing my surgery. But they decided that based off what I was telling them with my lack of symptoms and an EKG that my heart could handle the surgery. But I needed to follow up with my regular doctor ASAP. Appt with my NP 4 days after my surgery. She decided to take me off the water pill as it was obvious that it was too much for my body to handle. But stay on the potassium for now. 

My swelling was gone and my feet and ankles appeared normal. I thought that was all behind me. I was wrong. Two weeks after stopping the water pill, the swelling started coming back. After 2 days of the swelling getting more and more present, I called the dr again. I was scheduled for same day appt. Meanwhile, my scale is going in the in the WRONG direction! It's going up. :( Dr put me on another different water pill, it takes the fluid off slower, but it potassium sparing. So it won't mess me up like the last one did. And I get to get off the horse pill I'm on now. I have my 1st post op appt this week. I'm fearful of getting on the scale. Fearful of what my dr will think. I know the weight gain is because of the fluid. Because I have been following my new lifestyle to a "T". I have been eating healthy, weighing/portioning out my food, exercising. I have not even allowed myself any small treats for Christmas at all. Only because I am mentally not ready for that challenge. I have been doing exactly what I'm supposed to be doing. But the scale does not show that...and it's really messing with my head. 

Sorry for the long post about my swelling issue. All cards are on the table, the good and bad. I know this is a bump in the road. I'll get passed it. But so soon after surgery, it is disheartening to have come so far and see those numbers decrease, then all of a sudden increase.

Saturday, December 5, 2020

A New Journey

 Hello, Blogging world! 

How are ya? It sure has been a long time since I sat down and wrote. I decided to start a new blog, a fresh start for this journey I am on. My weight loss journey. But this will be more than weight loss, it will be about finding the new me. But also not forgetting who I am and not losing the best parts of myself. It may be raw and deep on here. I have lots to say. About my weight, but also about life. I just keep a lot to myself most times. 

Okay, let's start with the main reason why I decided to start blogging again. It was actually my best friend's suggestion that I start this up again. Weight loss surgery. *Gasp* Yep. I had weight loss surgery on 11/19/2020. I had the Lap band Surgery. 

My entire life I have been fat. For a good portion of my life, I have been considered morbidly obese. I am not exaggerating. Doctors have called me that for a long time. I vividly remember being bullied as a child for my weight. A lot at school. But even from family. Growing up I have heard, "Brandy, you're so pretty. But you would be so much prettier if you just lost weight." Yeah that came from family. Even though I consider myself a strong person, that still bothers me. It is still a voice in my head. It still causes me so much pain. It is a lot of the reason why I feel I am still single. Because minus my weight, I feel like I am a pretty decent human being. Why wouldn't someone love me? 

I did not have surgery in hopes that it would make me find love. There is no way I would put myself through 6 months of prep work that included numerous doctor appts, nutritionists appts, a psychologist appt, and lots of lab work, and this major surgery along with the continued work after surgery for a man. Nope, Brandy does not play that!

I did this for me. Because I want to be healthy. Because I was tired of being considered morbidly obese. Tired of going to a restaurant and wondering if I could fit in their booths. Tired of asking for seat belt extensions on airplanes. Tired of being so exhausted all the time. Tired of shopping online because I am too big for clothes in stores. Tired of limiting myself because something is not "fat people friendly". My fellow big girls know exactly what I am talking about. I see you. I love you.

Two weeks after surgery, I actually feel great. I don't even feel like I had surgery. I was released from diet restrictions yesterday. So I am free to eat normal. Well not my normal. I am learning again how to eat. Eat smaller portions. Eat healthier. And real talk, I am super excited for veggies again. I am in need of serious fiber. Because a side effect pre-op diet as well as post options diet is constipation. I told you guys, real talk. I have been  drinking Miralax. But it is not helping as much as I thought. The nutritionist told me this week this is all normal. Bleah. So bring on the veggies and fiber! 

I shall stop rambling now. I have more to say but it is early, and my coffee is done. But I have been up since four. I shall leave you with pics here soon.

April 2020: I weighed exactly 400lbs. The highest I have weighed. 

11/30/20 weight: 363

Total loss so far: 37lbs! 

The nutritionist told me this week, they anticipate me to lose 124lbs in the 1st year! That seems overwhelming. But then I broke it down my %. I have lost roughly 25% of the needed amount. A fourth of the goal. Breaking it down that way put a huge smile on my face. So I made this visual as a reminder. 





This was July 2020. Still at 400lbs.


3 days after surgery. 
3 days after surgery





















June/July/August

 I'm still here. Still trying to lose this weight. Nothing to report. I feel like I should be further along. I realize every journey is ...