A New Journey

 Hello, Blogging world! 

How are ya? It sure has been a long time since I sat down and wrote. I decided to start a new blog, a fresh start for this journey I am on. My weight loss journey. But this will be more than weight loss, it will be about finding the new me. But also not forgetting who I am and not losing the best parts of myself. It may be raw and deep on here. I have lots to say. About my weight, but also about life. I just keep a lot to myself most times. 

Okay, let's start with the main reason why I decided to start blogging again. It was actually my best friend's suggestion that I start this up again. Weight loss surgery. *Gasp* Yep. I had weight loss surgery on 11/19/2020. I had the Lap band Surgery. 

My entire life I have been fat. For a good portion of my life, I have been considered morbidly obese. I am not exaggerating. Doctors have called me that for a long time. I vividly remember being bullied as a child for my weight. A lot at school. But even from family. Growing up I have heard, "Brandy, you're so pretty. But you would be so much prettier if you just lost weight." Yeah that came from family. Even though I consider myself a strong person, that still bothers me. It is still a voice in my head. It still causes me so much pain. It is a lot of the reason why I feel I am still single. Because minus my weight, I feel like I am a pretty decent human being. Why wouldn't someone love me? 

I did not have surgery in hopes that it would make me find love. There is no way I would put myself through 6 months of prep work that included numerous doctor appts, nutritionists appts, a psychologist appt, and lots of lab work, and this major surgery along with the continued work after surgery for a man. Nope, Brandy does not play that!

I did this for me. Because I want to be healthy. Because I was tired of being considered morbidly obese. Tired of going to a restaurant and wondering if I could fit in their booths. Tired of asking for seat belt extensions on airplanes. Tired of being so exhausted all the time. Tired of shopping online because I am too big for clothes in stores. Tired of limiting myself because something is not "fat people friendly". My fellow big girls know exactly what I am talking about. I see you. I love you.

Two weeks after surgery, I actually feel great. I don't even feel like I had surgery. I was released from diet restrictions yesterday. So I am free to eat normal. Well not my normal. I am learning again how to eat. Eat smaller portions. Eat healthier. And real talk, I am super excited for veggies again. I am in need of serious fiber. Because a side effect pre-op diet as well as post options diet is constipation. I told you guys, real talk. I have been  drinking Miralax. But it is not helping as much as I thought. The nutritionist told me this week this is all normal. Bleah. So bring on the veggies and fiber! 

I shall stop rambling now. I have more to say but it is early, and my coffee is done. But I have been up since four. I shall leave you with pics here soon.

April 2020: I weighed exactly 400lbs. The highest I have weighed. 

11/30/20 weight: 363

Total loss so far: 37lbs! 

The nutritionist told me this week, they anticipate me to lose 124lbs in the 1st year! That seems overwhelming. But then I broke it down my %. I have lost roughly 25% of the needed amount. A fourth of the goal. Breaking it down that way put a huge smile on my face. So I made this visual as a reminder. 

This was July 2020. Still at 400lbs.

3 days after surgery. 

3 days after surgery